


things that break

by peachthorns



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Prison, Angst, Demisexuality, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jealousy, Older Man/Younger Woman, Prison, Secret Relationship, bethyl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:00:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29055531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachthorns/pseuds/peachthorns
Summary: Daryl learned a long time ago that a man like him should stay away from things that break. But Beth is determined to show him she isn’t as fragile as he thinks she is.(See also: Daryl Dixon’s demisexual awakening.)
Relationships: Beth Greene & Hershel Greene, Beth Greene & Maggie Greene, Beth Greene/Zach (Walking Dead), Daryl Dixon & Beth Greene, Daryl Dixon & Hershel Greene, Daryl Dixon/Beth Greene
Comments: 8
Kudos: 42





	things that break

**Author's Note:**

> _‘I can see you starin’ honey, like he’s just your understudy. I know you’d get your knuckles bloody for me’  
>  -exile, taylor swift_ [x](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osdoLjUNFnA)
> 
> Me a few weeks ago: hello i can barely manage writing one story i’m so sorry forgive me it’s been 6 months  
> Me today: lol let’s do a prison-era story too
> 
> (this actually was written before the weight of these wings, but i have renewed ideas for where i want it to go now, so i polished it up)
> 
> **daryl pov**

He’s noticed she’s beautiful in the way he noticed the farmhouse was huge and pristine, or what an attentive, protective mama Lori was to Carl – the way he notices things not meant for a man like him. Things he can’t fully understand, but still sees, because he sees _everything_. These are things that can be destroyed. The farmhouse burnt to ashes and overrun by the dead. Lori bled out on the concrete by her own goodness, by her own selfless love for the baby she never got to meet.

He’s not gonna be the one to wreck Beth. He learned a long time ago to stay away from things that break.

But that perceptiveness of his is what has him stabbing walkers with a little too much force lately and snapping at everyone like they’re back at the camp near Atlanta. For fuck’s _sake_ , is he the only one watching this girl? They overprotect her like she’s a goddamn child, won’t let her leave the prison gates, and yet throw her to the wolves when it comes to these Woodbury college boy pricks? Because she’s not a child, and that’s the whole problem. And now that their family has taken in new people, the eligible men have descended on blonde, blue-eyed Beth like walkers on a cornered, bleeding animal.

She was a teenager at the farm, all long legs and uncertain eyes, but some time when they were on the road she became a woman. And he was so worried about keeping everybody fed and safe that he didn’t even notice until their first night camping inside the prison fences. Was walking over to the campfire when she started singing and stopped him dead in his tracks. He looked at her, really looked, and just thought: _Oh, fuck me. When did this happen?_

Because now she’s graceful with those long, lean legs and a confident smile. She’s still a little thinner than he’d like any of them to be, but she’s a woman. And if an old son of a bitch like _him_ noticed, then sure as shit, these privileged creeps have too.

Ain’t like he noticed her the way they have. He’s not gonna try to be with her, no matter how often the thought flashes into his head at all hours of the day, whether he’s in the shower or talking to her fuckin’ dad. He just… sees it in her, this new womanhood. Doesn’t mean he has to take it for himself or act on what he’s feeling. Hell, he barely understands it _to_ act on it. He ain’t a fuckin’ pervert or anything like that. But it makes him think about how there’s more than just walkers to keep her safe from now. And he’s seen what men can do—men like his father. Even having the thoughts of how his father treated girls who were that age and how _good_ , how pure Beth is bouncing around his brain at the same time make him wanna punch something. Like maybe a goddamn mirror. So no, he ain’t touching her.

He sees the way these pieces of shit come up to her using Judith as a fucking wingman, tickling her little toes to try to get Beth to laugh along with her.

He watches.

Until one day he just can’t take it anymore, and he stomps over there too. But when he gets there, he realizes he doesn’t know what the hell he thinks he’s doing, so he just stands there glaring at them until they scatter like scared minnows when you chuck a rock in a pond. He can’t help but notice she looks a little relieved when he does it.

She smiles at him, and it isn’t until she does that he realizes she wasn’t really smiling at them. That was forced, polite. _This_ is her real smile; the one that knocks him back a step. Like when he’d been holed up in a trashy hotel room with Merle for whatever the fuck Merle thought a good Saturday night should consist of, and he’d step out for a smoke the next day. The noon sun would blind him so bad it felt like he hadn’t seen the fucking sun in ten years. He always felt dirty in that moment, unshowered and hungover from going along with whatever booze, hookers, and pills Merle insisted made him a man.

He feels dirty now too, for chasing age-appropriate men away from her. But then again, ain’t like he’s trying to replace them with himself. She just didn’t look comfortable, that’s all.

“Everything okay over here?” he asks.

“Now it is,” she answers.

And suddenly, he doesn’t feel so dirty anymore.

* * *

He takes a trip with Michonne. They’re gone a few days because supplies have been short lately, so they need to scout out more areas to go on bigger runs. When he comes back, things are different. At first, he thinks they’ve all left Beth alone, and he’s relieved. But then he realizes, _nope, one just scared the others off_. This little college boy prick, Chaz, or Jack, or Zach, some shit like that, this fuck who looks like he should be struggling through a keg stand or recruiting other dudes for Sigma Apple Pie at his overpriced college, is by Beth’s side every chance he can get. He’s marked his territory, that’s for sure. The others at least seem to do their part of leaving her alone. But Daryl isn’t so sure about this guy. Ain’t so certain about his intentions, or whether he’s man enough to be with her. He knows Beth can look out for herself, that’s not the problem. Part of him still believes a man should provide and protect, though. It’s the way he was raised, even though his pop sure had a funny way of showing it sometimes. Still, when he was coming up, it was a man’s job to be strong and make (or maybe he should say acquire) the money, to knock out any man who tries to get too handsy with your woman. Getting to know women like the Greenes, Andrea, Michonne, hell, even Carol had begun to challenge that view. He knows the women in their group are capable, and he trusts them to have his back. There’s just a little part of him that wants them to also date men who can have their back just as well. An idiot like this wannabe frat boy could get her killed.

Also, he just thinks being with a beautiful woman in these days is different than it was before. It’s a lawless land. And he ain’t sure ole Zachary has the balls to do what would need to be done if push came to shove. There’s all kinda weirdos out there who are thriving in this new lack of order, in ways even more sinister than Merle did. A man has to be ready to kill, to die. He’s not so sure Jack has what it takes to risk your life to keep your girl from ending up with a gang of perverts.

But, whatever. Beth’s a grown woman. She can make out with whoever she wants. (Daryl doesn’t allow himself to let his mind wander _too far_ about what else they’re doing besides making out. Ain’t gonna do him any good.)

Watching them together is a special kinda hell, though. He tries not to stare at them, or even worse, not to make snide comments like some kinda jealous fucking schoolboy. Sometimes that shit just blows out of his mouth like smoke, though. He’s trying not to make it too obvious he’d like to punch this kid in the face, but _goddamn_ would he like to punch this kid in the face. Before he knows it, he’s scoffing and rolling his eyes like he’s her grossed out brother, or worse, a jealous ex-boyfriend.

But hating this kid doesn’t stop him from taking this punk out on runs as often as he can. First it’s to see what he’s made of. Unfortunately, he can’t quite bring himself to hate him anymore after a few trips. He still seems young as hell to him, younger than Beth even. He has this energy to him that does make him a decent match for her. He’s a chatty, chipper little dude who kinda grates on Daryl’s nerves if he’s being honest. After a while though, Daryl sees he ain’t all bad. He seems to really like Beth. I mean, who wouldn’t? But still, he’s got that goin’ for him, even if he doesn’t seem to love her in the way she deserves. He doesn’t seem like he’s prepared or even capable of getting his knuckles bloody or his nose busted for her. He doesn’t look at her like it’s burning everything inside him, like lava coursing through his veins, like ecstasy and nicotine, when she smiles at him. He looks at her like she’s just a pretty girl, but she’s so much more than that. No, Zach doesn’t seem to have the depth of feelings that Daryl is beginning to admit quietly to himself that he kinda maybe sometimes feels about Beth, but whatever.

Zach starts this dumb fucking game of wanting to know what Daryl was before the turn. The whole thing makes him uncomfortable as hell at first, because this kid clearly has no fuckin’ clue who he’s dealing with. He’s guessing shit like undercover cop and firefighter. Daryl wants to just say, _try vagrant who steals instead of begs, dope slinger, car jacker, lookout, extra muscle, piece of shit_ , but the shame catches in his throat. Hell, even the jobs he’s been paid to do were nothing like this kid is guessing. Before Merle got deep into the drugs, they would do shit like construction jobs, factory workers, farmhands, bouncers, and whatever easy shit they could get that paid under the table. Daryl even worked as a bartender at a titty club for a stressful few weeks once trying to come up with some bail money for Merle. But after a while, Merle sunk lower and lower, and Daryl just circled the drain with him. Not really going down, but not making any real effort to keep himself up, either.

Zach doesn’t mean any harm, though. After a while, Daryl is able to swallow his shame and joke around with him some, as much as Daryl ever jokes. A few dry comments with a blank stare, where it takes folk’s a minute to get he’s kidding, or trying to kid. Occasionally a twitch of the lips, easily missed unless you’re watching. Unless you really study him.

One day, he even lets Zach think he’s guessed. Even Michonne is laughing.

Then it all goes to hell.

* * *

The whole drive home, he’s replaying Beth kissing Zach, refusing to say goodbye, sauntering away with her hips swaying slightly in those tight blue jeans. Over and over. He thinks of the little sign in her cell, how many days without accident, and of her and Zach holding hands. He thinks of the time he caught them in the guard tower fumbling around and almost wanted to jumps straight off of it, he was so fucking embarrassed. He was trying to get out of there and back down the stairs so fast he missed a step and about busted his ass. Other folks can laugh and joke about other people fucking, but not Daryl. But somehow, walking in on _Beth_ fooling around is so much worse. Because yes, he feels that horror, that jolt of embarrassment. But in place of the apathy and mild disgust he feels walking in on Maggie and Glenn, he feels his belly tighten and his skin prickle. He feels like pulling Zach away from her and beating this shit out of him like he did that kid back at the farm, until he’s not sure if the blood is coming from his own fists or the kid’s face.

He doesn’t. He walks away.

But that was the first time it ever crept into his awareness that he has gone from acknowledging objectively that she’s a beautiful woman to knowing it subjectively, to _feeling_ things about it. Acknowledging that there is something about her kindness, the way she is just this ray of goddamn sunshine, that pulls him in and penetrates his cloud. The way the fact that they’ve begun a tentative kind of friendship makes him feel light in a way he never has, even as a kid. Her brightness has a way of getting itself through the cracks in his armor, of forcing its way in and illuminating everything, casting it a new light.

It’s nice to have a friend. He likes being her friend.

But occasionally, the things he thinks about her more recently ain’t exactly _friendly_ in nature. Sometimes he thinks about the time he walked in on them in the showers, both of them facing away from him, the way her head was thrown back against Zach’s shoulder, wet blonde waves sticking to her back. Luckily he walks like a hunter, was able to creep back out before they realized anyone had walked in. 

It was only seconds, but it burns in his memory the way he burns. He has to swallow it back down. But he does, he pushes it away, knows it ain’t right. He’s twice her fucking age.

And now Zach is dead, and it’s nobody’s fault but Daryl’s.

He knows he has to be the one to tell her. He’s the one who took Zach out. And he hates himself now for causing her more pain than she’s already experienced in the last year, losing her mom, her brother, her home, and her old boyfriend. She’s still smiling and taking care of the baby and being positive, though.

She doesn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve any of it.

She deserved a life where she continued growing up on the farm, moved off to college or wherever the hell she wanted to go, visiting both her parents on the farm on the weekends. She deserved to marry a nice kid like Jimmy or Zach, have babies of her own instead of taking care of a dead woman’s child.

But Daryl learned himself at a young age that life ain’t fucking fair, so now he’s outside her cell to tell her that her boyfriend is dead (again).

**Author's Note:**

> here we go again (i'm still writing the weight of these wings too, don't worry. this is just going to be a _very_ different type of story)
> 
> let me know what you think :)
> 
> xoxoxoxo [peachthorns](https://wherethepeacheshavethorns.tumblr.com/)


End file.
